#3: how to actually network (build relationships)
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You’re probably doing everything you’ve been told.
Tailoring your resume for each application, attending company info sessions, following up thoughtfully, trying to expand your network, and so on.
You’ve submitted 100+ applications and have heard...nothing.
If you read our previous post, you understand the odds of converting an offer through a blind application are next to zero at 0.4%. You also know that you need to network.
The truth is: most overthink networking and do it at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way.
Most people network AFTER they’ve already applied (or right before they apply). They show up to the info session trying to save an application that’s already drowning in a pile of 1,000 identical resumes. Or they try to email someone asking for a referral without any pre-existing connection.
This approach is not going to help and you’re playing a loosing game. By the time a job is made public (or if you’re at an info session or something similar), it’s already too late.
In this deep dive, we’ll cover the following topics:
What is networking and why is it important?
Why most fail at networking?
How to actually network (build relationships)?
What does this looks like in practice?
Building a habit of networking
What is networking and why is it important?
Networking is a common buzz word thrown out that many people don’t really understand; and if you’re young, it can seem very dauting.
Simply put, networking is just meeting people and building genuine relationships. That’s it. It’s no different than making friends.
The problem most people run into is that they treat it like a transaction instead of a relationship.
There are two types of relationships: organic and inorganic.
Organic relationships are built naturally and often passively. They form as a result of a common occurrence. For example, if you’re in college, it can look like meeting a senior who’s going to the company of your dreams in the library, or meeting friends of friends at a party, or catching up with a distant relative. These are examples of a natural occurrence that brought two people together.
Inorganic relationships are built without the presence of an obvious connection point. Often times, it’s something you have to be intentional about. Sounds a lot like networking right? The most common way to start building inorganic relationships is through cold emailing (we will have a detailed guide on this next week).
You have to take proactive action to build a relationship that is authentic and mutually beneficial.
Whether you like it or not, the world is built on relationships and the more genuine ones you build, the better off you will be. One deep relationship can open doors and change the course of your life and going through the process of building these relationships can help you:
Become an industry expert and learn more about your desired path
Uncover hidden job opportunities
Practice talking to industry professional, sharpening interpersonal and soft skills
The objective should be to meet and learn from other ambitious, high-achieving individuals who can help you in the long-term.
Why most fail at networking?
Most people treat it like a transaction instead of a relationship. The first step to avoid failure is to start thinking about networking like dating.
If you find someone attractive, you don’t propose marriage after one conversation. You go on dates to see if there’s chemistry and attempt to build something real over a longer time frame.
The same concept can be applied to professional settings. Asking someone for a job or referral after an initial meeting is like asking someone to marry you without going on a second date.
In my experience, young people face two major challenges when it comes to building inorganic relationships:
You think you have nothing to offer: It feels impossible to add value to someone with 10+ years of experience. Why would a senior leader give you their time? It’s easy to be in this mindset and even if you’re approaching it authentically, you’re worried about asking professionals for their time, especially senior leaders.
You forget the point: You’re so focused on getting a referral (or something tangible) that you forget you’re trying to build a relationship. People can sense this from a mile away.
How to actually network (build relationships)?
Notice how I included “build relationships”, instead of just networking? Stop trying to “network” and start thinking about making an older friend.
The best conversations I’ve had with professionals - the ones that turned into real relationships - all had three things in common:
Ask questions Google can’t answer: This is a very simple idea to grasp, but difficult to master as it requires you to do your homework. In short, you want the other person to walk away feeling energized. The best way to do this is by asking thoughtful and interesting questions.
Make it easy for them to help you: As a young person, you have leverage that you don’t realize. A 15-minute conversation with the right person can 10x your career trajectory. We’re all human and older professionals genuinely enjoy helping ambitious young people, but you have to make it easy for them. Find people with commonalities (school, hometown, etc.) whose career you want to emulate and go ask them questions that let them guide you. Or find someone who has experienced similar struggles as you.
Express appreciation and close the loop: Getting the coffee chat is easy. Maintaining the relationship is hard. Send a thank you note that’s specific about what you learned. If they gave you advice, follow up and tell them when you implement it. If they recommended a book, tell them that you read it. Keep them updated on your progress. Having a coffee chat without following up is useless. You can also start showing your value here - share a project you’re working on that’s relevant to their world, or send them an article you think they’d find interesting.
These are the core building blocks to building strong inorganic relationships.
Have a fun conversation.
Put yourself in position to be helped (give them leverage)
Thank them sincerely and show how you’re growing
Keep in mind the point is to build real relationships, not collect referrals.
With that said - it’s okay to casually ask about the interview process or hint at a referral, just don’t lead with it and let it come up naturally. Better yet, let them bring it up.
If you’re authentic about wanting to learn, the transactional benefits will follow.
In the next section, we will go over an example of what networking the right way looks like.
Quick aside: To provide maximum value, we would appreciate if you can fill out this survey. As a thank you, we’ll be giving 5 subscribers 2 coaching sessions ($1,500 value) and 1 subscriber 12 coaching sessions ($1,800 value) for FREE. You’ll unlock a short application after you fill out the survey. Hope to hear from you!
What does this looks like in practice?
Before we cover an example, we want to reiterate the goal of a networking chat is to:
Learn something you can’t Google
Make the other person want to help you long-term
Here’s a real example from someone I recently worked with:
Jake read our how to discover your dream career post and developed conviction that he wanted to work in sports. He read our how to find hidden job opportunities guide and knew that blindly applying wouldn’t cut it.
He come across COSM - a company building the future of live sports experiences and was captivated. He found a finance internship posting on their careers page.
Most people would hit “apply” and wait. He didn’t. This is where he set himself apart.
He found Jeremy - a Senior Financial Analyst currently at COSM. He uses Apollo.io to find his email address and sent a thoughtful email asking for a 15-minute call to learn more about the company.
Hi Jeremy,
I came across COSM and know that you guys are building the future of sports and entertainment viewing. I read the recent Forbes article and think your concept of creating a “shared reality” is really interesting.
I’m Jake, a sophomore at ASU. Do you have 15-minutes soon for a phone call? I would love to learn about your experience and the company. Does February 8th at 11am ET work? If not, happy to work around your schedule.
Best,
Jake
Notice how he never mentioned the internship? He’s approaching this from a place of genuine curiosity and leading with authenticity.
He proceeded to do company research and came up with questions only Jeremy could answer. Remember, when talking to professionals, only ask questions you CANNOT find on the internet.
Because he approached the conversation authentically and out of curiosity, Jeremy brought up the internship during the call saying he’d internally refer him.
Jake did not ask for a referral, he simply had a real conversation that made Jeremy want to help. He built a relationship, rather than networked.
Jake skipped the application/resume black hole entirely and got a streamlined interview process.
Building a habit of networking
It’s easy to think that once you land an internship (or job), you’re done networking. We wish the world worked like this, but in reality, you’ll recruit multiple times throughout your career. This means you need to build habits now that compound over time.
The best time to network is when you don’t need it.
I’ll say it again: the best time to network is when you don’t need it. If you only have one takeaway from this post, let it be the above. This is the billion-dollar secret to consistent results.
This works because you can reach out with genuine curiosity instead of an agenda. You have time to build, test, and explore without the pressure of needing results tomorrow.
Start early. Build relationships. That way, when you need help with a job application two years from now, you’re not cold emailing strangers - you’re asking friends.
Here’s what you can do this week: Find one person whose career you admire. Get their email. Send them a thoughtful note asking for 15 minutes of their time. Don’t mention jobs. Don’t ask for referrals. Just be curious and try to make an older friend.
Quick aside: Again, we’d greatly appreciate if you can fill out this short survey. As a thank you, we’ll be giving 5 subscribers 2 coaching sessions ($1,500 value) and 1 subscriber 12 coaching sessions ($1,800 value) for FREE. You’ll unlock the short application for the free coaching after you fill out the survey. Hope to hear from you!
Job Board
If you read today’s post and our previous ones, you understand jobs included in postings are the most competitive. By the time a job is made publicly available, companies already have a shortlist of candidates. The unfortunate reality is that simply applying is not going to get you anywhere.
Reach out to nishal@futrprf.org and we can share more about what to do instead of just blindly applying. In future newsletters, we will cover topics like how to cold email, how to have coffee chats, how to do company research, and more.
Internships
These links will take you to databases containing postings split by job function: Business Analyst, Accounting and Finance, Consulting, Marketing, Supply Chain/Project Management, Media and Entertainment, Data Analysis, SWE, Healthcare.
Full Time (No Experience Needed)
These links will take you to databases containing postings split by job function: Business Analyst, Accounting and Finance, Consulting, Marketing, Supply Chain/Project Management, Media and Entertainment, Data Analysis, SWE, Healthcare.
Thanks for reading. We aim to be the highest signal resource for all your career needs. The world is changing and we all recognize it. We searched for answers on what to do, but could not find any so were compelled to share how we are setting ourselves up for the next decade.
Nishal started his career in investment banking and private equity. He is now a private markets investor across asset classes. Victoria also spent time in investment banking and private equity and now works at a family office.
Feel free to reach out to nishal@futrprf.org if you have any questions. We don’t want to be distant internet advice gurus. We’re really here to help, let us know if there is anything we can do. Thanks!